Hell Ends With Heaven
by Claces Guardian Angel
Summary: Jace is a damaged veteran seeing his friends' last moments and hearing the screams of the wounded thats only half of him. Clary works with veterans diagnosed with PTSD but with this one its different, he isn't the usual older man scared of loud noises. This boy is different, damaged too much for his own good... But she knows she can help him... There will be Clace... Eventually
1. Chapter 1

**OK so i literally woke up with this idea but i spent a lot of time planning and im super excited for for this, so guys please review... But im really excited cause ive never seen this plot before**

**Clary's POV**

I loved my job, every year I received a phone call from the army giving my a date and time to meet my new case and the basic info which was just the name. Ive had 3 cases and have been successful all threee cases we successful.

My name is Clarissa Fray, i am 22 years old with firey red hair and emerald eyes. I have worked with PTSD patients since i was 19. When i am called to the center I walked over to the desk where I learned what room to meet my new patient in.

Room six, I walked down the plain white halls following the numbers. 4,5, ah here it is 6. I take a deep breath and pull my hair back. I open the door to see one of the oddest and saddest sights I've seen.

Sitting there with his knees tucked up and his hands pulling his golden hair was a boy who could only be described as golden. There in the white room he say there. I didnt know if he was crying but he was muttering something.

I walked over to him softly and laid my hands on his, they were pulling on his hair. When i placed my hands on his i could feel them loosen. Slowly I was able to take his hands out of his hair and place them on his knees.

from there i was able to move his feet down to the ground. He was still muttering something I think it was a name. Alec.

I placed my hand under his chin and lifted his head so his eyes met mine. The were like him sad and beautiful. His eyes were a molten hazel with a flash of gold every now and then, i was lost into his dark eyes that never stopped moving but then they caught mine and they stopped. This is the first time I have seen him still.

Still looking into his eyes i put my hands on his and softly said "hello my name is Clary"

**Jace'S POV**

I was sitting in a white room, there was no noise. No there has to be noise there has to or I'll hear them no Alec im sorry i tried. I was back no i cant be back

_There we were in the field Alec and i were running, we had to there was only a couple other people with us, we were almost there when i saw a man. His gun was aimed at Alec I needed to save him he was my friend, my brother. I jumped in front of him and thats when I felt it. Hot searing pain ran through my body and was centered in my middle, i looked up. Alec was beside me holding my stomach saying something like I'll be ok but i wasn't cause thats when i saw Alec drop. He had a clean shot through his head, he was gone my brother was gone. Alec Alec Alec Alec_

I was pulled out by a sound, the door opened. I didn't look cause I knew Alec was still out there and I needed to save him. Alec Alec Alec. I couldn't cry, I cried too much but i can distract. I needed a way out, my hands were already in my hair when i started pulling it. I had to get out i need.

I felt something small on my hands, the small things i knew were hands were now moving my hands from my hair, i let them they were soft and gentle.

I felt the hands moving my legs down and soon they were lifting my chin up, i looked around to see if it was safe, no where was safe I had to find the enemy. But then my eyes locked in on the source that the hands, soft and gentle came from. Her eyes were deep and green and calm. She put her hands on mine and spoke this time I listened. "Hello my name is Clary" her voice was music and that name Clary and here eyes, her touch. For the fist time i feel safe in a room.


	2. Im coming home

**ok so im super happy with the turn out to this story so i really really like this plot.. I have always wanted to do an AH but i never could find the right plot but i think this will be vet successful.**

**Clary's POV**

I brought Jace who was tightly holding my arm as we walked out, to his veterans apartment. This apartment was for any veterans who didn't have a home to go to or wasnt safe enough to live on their own. Since I was a therapist for patients i was given free room and boarding in the room next to Jace's. As i led him to the elevator and we got in his eyes never stopped moving, he gripped my arm tighter as it moved, he was whispering to him self and shaking his head. I could handle this easy but when we got to the floor we lived on the bell dinged and jace lost it.

He was like how I found him in the greeting room. He sat down in the corner of the elevator, balled up and muttering again. This time it was a different name, Simon. I took his hands from his hair again and placed them on my shoulders. Then using my 5'3 body i was able to slowly get him to stand up.

At 6'2 Jace towered me, but right now he was so scared so weak and fragile that if i moved to fast to take his hand he flinched. We walked out the doors, Jace's hand in mine. We made it to his room and he sat down. I turned the tv on to a soft music channel and say by Jace.

He took a deep breath and looked at me again. I smiles softly at him and he started talking. "my name is Jace, you're Clary. You are beautiful. Im safe now. Alec is gone" this made me happy because Jace finally spoke then i blushed but then my heart fell to pieces. When he said "Alec is gone" his face fell and he started to breathe faster. Thats when I knew i had to step in.

"Jace look at me its ok you're safe in your own apartment im here, look in my eyes and breathe deep breaths". I have used this exorcise many times but when Jace looked into my eyes I looked into his and my stomach dropped, he was stunning and broken and scared but I know i can help him.

after some hours of showing Jace around the building and how to get in my room if he needed me, Jace had finally calmed down and was a normal person. Sadly he still has pain behind his eyes.

when it was time for dinner I made us each a bowl of soup and we sat at the small 3 person table as we ate.

"So Clary can you tell me about yourself" Jace looked at me with a smirk i couldn't describe, it was cocky and flirtatious but there was something behind it.

"well Jace my name is Clary Fairchild im 22 and am super smart. I graduated college at the age of 19" Jace looked at me as I kept talking. When I was done he smiled bigger. "So Jace" I questioned "can you tell me anything about yourself from before your... Service time"

Jace quickly replied "i have a sister and you would like her she doesn't look looks me and we fight but i love her and miss her" Jace was staring off into space when he was done.

I smiled and finished my soup, I motioned to his bowl but he took mine and said "don't worry i never let the lady do the dishes on a date" this boy sure was a flirt but i smiled and have it to him. Once dishes were done we said our good nights and i went to my room.

I changed into a large shirt and small workout shorts, as i lay in bed i started thinking. _this boy sure is different, he's so cocky and such a flirt when we talk but if he gets scared he looks so fragile and scared, he doesn't even talk about how he feels when that happens even as we ate. This boy may have a tough exterior but he has a weakness and if he can face his troubles and realize what is going on now and whats gone is gone. As for his sister maybe i should invite her over so she can see her brother when he is getting better._


	3. Chapter 3

**OMG i love you all, so you amazing people here is chapter 3**** Two sides of a Coin**

**Clary's POV**

I woke up to the sound of pits and pans crashing. Clary jumped out of bed and ran to the next room. I found Jace standing wide eyed in the small kitchen, I ran to him and looked at him closer.

His eyes were wide and scared, his hands shook and were constantly moving. Up, down, in his hair, squeezing each other. They never stopped.

I sighed and walked over to him, taking his hands I brought him to the small couch and sat next to him. "Jace, hey what were you doing? Have you slept at all?" Jace turned to me. "I was trying to make you breakfast, I couldn't sleep. Been up for hours, i thought of you a lot"

This boy was such a flirt, I shook my head and patted his hands. "Its ok Jace, I can make breakfast, just lay down. Try to get some sleep".

I cleaned up all the pans that had fallen. I looked back at Jace while making pancakes and there he was. Laying there, his face was so peaceful. So untouched by the pain of war and the scars of memories.

When pancakes were done I walked to where Jace was asleep on the couch. I didnt have the heart to wake him so I left them on the coffee table and went to my room to change.

When I got into my room I looked at myself for the first time this morning. My hair was a lions mane of fire with knots running through it, I only had on what I wore to bed which was just a tanktop and small shorts.

I jumped in the shower and quickly scrubbed off pancake batter from my hands and washed my hair.

It was 10:17 when I was completely changed into jeans and a tanktop. When I walked out I found Jace now sitting on the couch with his feet on the coffee table. I put my hands on my hips and looked strait at him.

"Jace get your feet off the coffee table and why isn't your plate in the sink" Jace turned to me with a smirk in his face and stuck his tongue out at me. I stomped over to him and pushed his feet off the table, I swatted him as I grabbed the plate and walked over to put it in the sink.

"Hey Jace i need go out and buy some art supplies, do you want to come with me". Jace jumped up and ran a hand through his hair. "Uhh I guess, I dont know how long will we be out" Jace actually looked nervous.

"Hey Jace Its ok im just going to an art store to pick up a new sketch book. Come on it will be good for you and it will only be like 10 minutes".

Jace sighed and said he was going to change shirts.

~~o0o~~

We were walking down the side walk, Jaces hand in mine. I said he could squeeze my hand when he was nervous and so far he has not stopped squeezing my hand. He watched every single person as they walked by. I felt so bad for him, we arrived at the art store soon and there was luckily only 2 other people in the store.

I quickly grabbed a large sketch pad and walked to the check out station. Jace grabbed my hand as we stood there, squeezing it slightly. The older woman checking us out looked at our hands and smiled.

"aren't you two just the cutest couple" she crooned

I was about to speak up when Jace started talked. "Thanks you, I dont know how I could live without her"

The lady smiled again and i blushed. Jace was such a flirt how could i handle him.

Our walk back to the building was better, Jace only tightened his grip a couple timeso and he was able to keep small talk going but being Jace he added some flirty comments every now and then.

When we got back Jace sat back down on the couch, he turned the tv on and stretched his legs across the couch. I swatted his lega down so I could sit beside him and sketch. As soon as i sat down his legs were back up on me. He gave me the smirk I could only describe as pure Jace and turned back to the tv.

I started free drawing not thinking of what i was drawing until Jace spoke up. "Wow, I never knew something as perfect as me could be transferred to a page but there it is" Suddenly I looked down at my drawing, it was a scene of jace's face with a smirk not so perfect. I couldn't get his jawline right though there was something... Off. How could I fix it, his Jaw line was so sharp, structured, how could something be so.. Perfect

Why couldn't I get this boy out of my mind and why am I so upset about not being able to draw him.

**hey guys please review, i really hope you like this story. Love my Clace**


	4. Facing the truth

**ok ik its old to say i love you all but im so happy with this.. Guys please do review, i really want to hear what you think**

**Jace's POV**

As I lay in bed one night I started thinking of Clary, how strong she must be for never flinching when I squeeze her hand or arm or shoulder. Im not a man, a man doesn't hang on to a girls hand as she leads him through life. A man doesn't need a shield from the world. But I need Clary.

I wish there was a way I could thank her, show her how she can save me. I've only known Clary for about a week but with just one look she can change me. I have also had 3 panic attacks since we went to the store. As you can guess i haven't left the apartment.

Every night I haven't been able to sleep more than 4 hours. Simon and Alec riddle my dreams. Their last breaths, last words, Simons dying scream. I couldn't tell Clary, she would worry too much. Im a man, I can face my nightmares.

I know its her job to help me though. She is so willing and always does it with a smile on her face. I still couldn't tell her, its my pride. Ive survived war, I have the scars to prove that I faced death. But i couldn't build up the courage to tell her that I was scared.

**Clary's POV**

I wake up to the sound of my alarm screaming. I tried to hit it the snooze but I couldn't reach. I stretched out more and more until I though I could get it but I missed again and almost fell off the bed. Luckily my hand was out enough to land on the ground but i was in an incredibly awkward position when I heard a knock at my door.

I quickly rolled myself up and jumped out of my small bed. As i walked barefoot to the door I ran a hand through my hair. I opened the door to see Jace, his shirt was wrinkled, his shorts crooked and his hair tangled.

"Hey Jace are you OK?" he smiled.

"Yeah Clary im fine, just didn't sleep well. Can you come follow me?"

This statement confused me but when he held his hand out I took it and let him lead me away.

I was oddly aware of how he was holding my hand, gently though i could feel the callouses on his hands they were soft and warm.

I was thinking about him so much I didnt notice when he waa tapping my shoulder and saying my name.

"Sorry Jace I was just... Thinking" he smiles

"OK Clary turn around" he smiled broadly

It was an odd command but i did.

On his small little table he had made a small but sweet breakfast for two.

I looked to him and he was smiling even more.

"I was up early again and thought how all week you've cooked every meal, i dont know if you liked eggs so i made eggs fruit and toast." He said hapily.

I didnt really like eggs but for him I ate half my plate of eggs and ate more fruit. He was so happy while I was eating. He watched me the whole time with bright eyes that never left me. They were so perfect, bright, and deep. _WHY DO I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM oh well hes sweet and handsome. Why cant I stop, he is a patient I cant think about him that way._

**Jace's POV**

Watching her was bliss, I dont know why but every time she smiled my heart fluttered. I still had the feeling of holding her hand for once not out of fear, just for the fun of it, she took my hand.

Her hand was small and boney, yet it felt so sure and right in my hand.

_why do I keep thinking about her, her deep beautiful eyes, milky soft skin, dazzling smile..DAMN IT why cant I get her out of my head. Its not like she'll ever think about me that way. Im just another mental patient scared of his own dreams_

**ok yeah that last line was sad, sorry but its something Jace would think. Hes very self destructive, except with clary**


	5. Life's fears

**ok guys so I dont really have any thing to say other than please review, if I could get atleast 4 more reviews that would be wonderful. I love to hear from you all.**

**Clary's POV**

After Jace and I ate the breakfast he made me we decided to watch some Disney movies. I was oddly aware of every spot Jace and I touched. Our hips, my shoulder half way up his bicep, even our legs were just brushing against each other. Though too soon it was time for lunch. I was Just about to make egg salad when I got an idea.

"Hey Jace, if you up for it we can go out for lunch. I know you haven't had an attack recently and there is a small diner close by?" Jace's eyes widened momentarily but then he had his cocky smirk plastered on his face.

"well well well Clary you finally tired of me in this house, its only been a week with me. What will you ever do for 6 more months." Jace stood up and and stretched his arms up.

I could see just about two inches of his stomach, even there I could see the whiteness of a scar contrasting against his purely gold skin.

When he noticed me staring blushed heavily and he quickly pulled his shirt down, stretching it out a little extra to be sure.

Quietly I muttered a "sorry" and with my head down I hurried to my room to change.

**Jace's POV**

We were casually watching TV but I couldn't pay attention for even half of it. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, my mind was filled with her. How I could feel the soft coolness of her bare skin against my arms, how out legs barely brushed against each other, tempting me. I even could feel the slight brushes of her hair against my neck when ever she moved.

All to soon she got up, leaving every part of me that she was touching cold an odd. When she asked me if I wanted to go out for lunch I was very scared, I hadn't told her about how I stay up for hours at night, screaming into my pillow, living through my nightmare and watching my brother and best friend die.

I haven't told her that It took me 10 minutes just to build up the courage to walk out of my apartment to take her to breakfast. I havent even told her that I sleep on the couch just cause its closer to her room.

I replied just the way I act, cool and cocky. But inside im screaming at myself. I get off of the couch and stretch, after a second I realized that my shirt had ridden up and Clary was staring. I realized that the tip of my scar was showing.

Clary couldn't see that, she would look at me in horror. I hated that scar, I hated myself. and if Clary saw that scar then she would hate me too.

I pulled down my shirt so hard that i stretched it out and heard a stitch rip. When I looked back at Clary her face matched her hair and she was looking down. I heard her mutter a sorry and hurry out of the apartment.

I wanted to go after her, say sorry tell her that she shouldn't be sorry. I couldn't because she will never look at me the same. She will never look at me how i look at her.

I storm over to my room and start punching the dresser in my bedroom till i split a knuckle and curse.

I lock my bedroom door not caring if Clary and I had made plans I fell into my bed and let my memories take over.

**Clary's POV**

As I changed into presentable clothes I heard some banging and crashing. Then I heard one curse and silence.

just moments after the silence I was banging on Jaces door, he was yelling but not at me. He was obviously in a panic attack, he had been doing so well but now. Now he sounded horrid yelling names and curses and all these thing i would never understand.

I ran back to my room and took my emergency spare keys and fumbled as I opened his door. What I saw about made me cry...

** im sorry guys, this is a very filler Chapter but this will lead up to one of the most emotional and sweet chapters that is next. Also please dont kill me but sexual tension wont be released for a while**


	6. The truth is out

**im love you all! Everyday i see how many people i have gained and it makes me soooo happy. Also sorry but no sexual tension release just yet but this chapter will be wayyyyyy better than the previous.**

**Clary's POV**

When I opened the door Jace was on his bed, knees to chest and he was yelling gibberish. I carefully walked over to his bed and placed my hand on his arm. I kept saying his name over and over but nothing happened. He looked so hurt and sad I had to wake him up.

I started to shake his shoulder say his name louder. His eyelids twitched and he was crying. Suddenly his eyes shot open and he took a huge breath.

I stopped shaking him and looked into his eyes "Jace hey look at me you are with me in your apartment" he started thrashing around so i tried to straddle him and hold his arms down but he quickly threw me off.

When I hit the ground I felt my wrist turn at a bad angle and I screamed in pain. Seconds after I saw Jace bolt up right, eyes red and wide. He looked at me and quickly fell on the ground looking at me.

"Clary please im sorry I didn't mean to hurt you let me see your wrist" his voice was raw from screaming, i was still in pain but I assures him. "Jace im fine it was mainly shock, hey jace look at me im ok now you need to sleep, you're exhausted." he had bags under his eyes and sweat was gleaming on his forehead, not to mention his clothes.

I took his hand when he held it out to me but the I noticed he had a split knuckle. "Jace what did you do! Oh whatever come on we need to clean this up". I took his hand and dragged him to the bathroom where I cleaned it it and put a small bandaid on it.

Jace never said anything but he did wince every time I touched his hand. when i looked into his face he reminded me of a child who had lost his mother and was all alone.

"hey Jace come on forget about going to eat you need to sleep" I led him to his bed room. I layer him down and told him to sleep. As I walked towards the door I heard a small raspy voice across the room.

"Clary, stay please. I.. Im.. Scared"

I looked back at Jace he looked so defeated and sad. "Of course jace, I'll sit with you till you sleep". When I said that he smiles just a bit. I walk over to him and sit on the bed crisscross, I put a small pillow in my lap and look at Jace. His eyes are red and defeated, he just looks so sad.

He moves his head so he laying on the pillow in my lap. The he speaks up and says something I never thought he would.

"I watched them die. My best friend, my brother. Alec was both, even though we was my adoptive brother he was still family. We did every thing together, we told each other every thing. He even told me he had a boyfriend, they loved each other so much. But then he went to the army, they still spoke but..."

Jace was freely crying now, instinctively I started running my hands through his hair. It was surprisingly soft. Then he started talking again.

"Alec died while trying to save me, it was my fault. I was shot and he was killed because he wanted me to live. How messed up is that. Then there was Simon, that scrawny ass twig was my best friend. He was a lot like you, small but so strong. He was shot 5 times before he went down. I watched him, it was horrible"

Thats when he looked at me. "Clary I died up there with them, my soul and spirit but some how my body ended up here"

I looked into his sad, sad eyes "hey Jace just sleep, im right here to protect you.

Within minutes he was fast asleep, i was still mindlessly running my hands through his hair when I pulled out my phone.

I dialed the number and they picked up on the third ring. "Hello? Isabelle Lightwood, yes this is Clarissa Fray. Sorry we couldn't meet at the diner, Jace had a breakdown. Can you meet us tomorrow at the apartments. Yes 3:00 sounds good. Bye."

And with that I fell asleep with Jace's head in my lap and my hands tangled in his hair.

**ok that was sad sooo sorry if you are crying**


	7. Chapter 7

**ok I really dont have much to say BUT I wont be updating as often cause I have a job (no not full time) but the hours are going up. Also being with friends. Ok guys enjoy, dont kill me for the tension!**

**Jaces POV**

For the first time since I arrived at this apartment I had a full night of sleep. No memories or screams, just blissful sleep.

I woke up the same way I fell asleep, my head in Clarys lap and her hand tangled in my hair. I looked up at her, she was asleep sitting up with her head against the headboard. I knew that couldn't be comfortable.

I gently untangled her hand from my hair, I held it for just a second too long before I got up. When I stood up I saw just how uncomfortable Clary must be, her legs were still crisscrossed and her head was at a weird angle.

I carefully lifted her up and repositioned her in my bed, hopefully more comfortable. When I was pleased with how she was I went to my bathroom and started the shower.

As I pulled my shirt off I saw the scar that ruined me. It stretched all the way across my chest, jagged and uneven. It was ugly, that was the only way I could describe it. As I jumped in the shower I thought of last night.

The way she gently held my hand after she cleaned up my knuckle. Hand, hand, hand. I forgot about her wrist. Oh I feel horrible, in the heat of the moment **(hehe) **I had completely forgot about how I hurt her.

I jump out of the shower, threw my clothes on and rushed out to my bedroom to check on her. When I got there Clary was just sitting up in bed. "Hey Clary uh sorry if I woke you, I wanted to see if your wrist was ok"

She smiled at me and showed me her wrist, i was red and swollen and she flinched when I touched it. "its ok Clary you just twisted it, I have a wrap in my bathroom I'll go get for you"

When I came back Clary was laying back down, her eyes were closed. I didnt want to wake her up so I just looked at her. She looked so small, even though I was almost a full foot taller than her she was big, not in height but in strength. Seeing her asleep made her seem so childlike. Her face was clear of thought and stress.

I sat on the edge of my bed and shook her awake lightly. As she sat back up I gingerly took her wrist. I wrapped it tight but every time she flinched I rubbed my thumb over her wrist. When I was done her wrist was wrapped tight and I was left holding her hand.

After a couple seconds of us just looking at each other she cleared her throat and got up. Her face was bright red when she walked into the kitchen.

**Clarys POV **

As Jace wrapped my wrist he was so gentle it hurt only a couple times. Every time it did hurt he would softly rub my wrist until it felt better. When he was done he kept holding my hand, then he started looking at me and I kept looking at him. After we had a "moment" I turned away and trying to avoid the awkwardness I got out of the bed and walked to the kitchen.

I looked at the clock in the oven _crap its 11:27 how could I have slept that long, Isabelle is going to be here in 4 hours, i need to clean. _I turned around to see Jace standing in the door way to his room. "Hey uh Clary thank you, for last night. I.. I.. I haven't slept for days and telling you that, it uh" he stuttered "hey Jace its fine I understand, its good to tell people that"

He smiled and turned to his room shutting the door. I turned to the cabinets and got out ingredients for chicken salad. I started cutting up the chicken when Kace walked out in a fresh t-shirt and jeans, he walked behind me and grabbed some of the chicken breast. I hit his hand away and he smiled with food in his mouth. I scoffed "Jace we have a visitor coming over at 3:00 be ready."

"Uh Clary are you sure you should do that, what about last night" he looked unsure. "Jace its fine, this person knows about you and what you've gone through. I thing it'd be good is you saw them" I couldn't see him but I could practically feel him tense up. "Jace I promise you will be fine, now im going to go shower, can you finish cutting the chicken up"

As I walk to my room I turn back and see Jace gingerly holding the knife with three fingers. I walk back to him "Clary im sorry, really. It just it reminds me of cutting Simons clothes when he was shot". He looked so helpless holding that knife, like he was a 7 year old who is facing someone who has a gun.

"Jace its ok here I'll help" I place my hand over his and start cutting the chicken with him. His hands are slightly shaking under mine so I tighten my grip on them. Soon he is doing it on his own without shaking. I debate taking my hand away but his is just so soft and gentle. _What am I thinking! I need to stop this! _I pull my hand away faster than I should. When Jace looks at me I just shake my head and rush to my room.

I change into a soft green blouse and skinny jeans. When i walk out Jace is mixing it all in a large bowl. We put it in the fridge and I look at the time 2:08, we have about an hour so I suggested that we watch TV.

We sit on the small couch how we always do. Hips shoulders and knees touching, but right now it feel. Better like I havent really paid attention till now. Soon there is a knock on the door. I get up and Jace follows, his hand twisting around each other.

I placed one hand on his arm. I turned to the door and opened it. Inside I see the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and one of the tallest men other than Jace I have ever come in contact with.

**who wants to guess who the guy is!**


	8. Chapter 8

**soooooooo you guys excited to see who our random dude is? Well here it is, also please review**

**Clarys POV**

I smile at the beautiful girl in front of me. She has raven black hair and dark, dark eyes. **(hehe get it) ** She is tall, almost 5"9 without the heels. Her curves are deep with big breast and a small waist. She looks like one of those girls who would be a priss to anyone who doesn't have fake boobs and tons of money. But this girl was all real, smile genuine and kind. The way she stood showed she was confident but not cocky, deep but not unrelatable. This girl was magnificent.

Her smile was bright and anxious, a kind smilethat lit up the room. But behind her eyes she hid something. Something shame full by the way she made here eyes light up.

next to her stood a tall thick man with raven hair. His eyes were even darker than hers, they were black, so dark it was hard to see the pupil. Shaking of the odd feeling he gave me I held my hand out in front of Isabelle. "Hello im Clarissa, call me Clary. You must be Isabelle. She took my hand, she was surprisingly strong for such a beautiful girl. "Yes im Isabelle, call me Izzy. This is my boyfriend Sebastian" she motioned to the tall man.

He nodded so me briefly theme turned back to Isabelle. I turned around to see Jace, he had the biggest smile on his face. When I move out of the way Jace runs up and hugs Isabelle.

"Izzy I cant believe you are here, I'm sorry I haven't called" he was practically yelling but it was so nice seeing him happy. I looked over to Sebastian, I was surprised to see that he was already looking at me. I smiled at him nicely but when he smiled back it seemed creepy and ominous.

Feeling slightly off I turned to Jace, he was now smiling at me. His eyes shone so bright. They werent dark or churning they were just bright, the gold in his eyes shone brighter now.

"So guys why dont you come in and we can talk, Jace and I even made chicken salad for an early dinner" Jace smiled cheerfully when I mentioned the chicken salad. It was kind of odd to see how happy it made him but I couldn't help but smile like him at that memory.

we sat down in the living room and I pulled up two extra chairs for Jace and I do Izzy and Sebastian could have the love seat. When they sat down I noticed how close Sebastian had pulled Isabelle but how uncomfortable Isabelle seemed with the closeness.

Jace and I sat down, we were subconsciously near each other so our hands touched. When I realized this I felt my face heat up and I quickly moved, maybe to quickly cause Jace have me a questioning look but behind his eyes I could see... Hurt?

"So Isabe... Izzy, where do you guys live?" Sebastian spoke this time. His voice was deep and almost ominous "we are staying at my mansion, nothing butvthe best for my love" when he said that his arm tightened around Isabelle, you could almost see her wince but I shrugged it off quickly.

Sebastian turned to me "excuse me Clary where is a restroom" he stood up. "There is two but you can use Jaces, just go in his room and turn right." As he passed me he brushed just a little too close to me.

I scooted over a little because i was uncomfortable with him touching me so much but i moved strait into Jace and soon moved over. Then not knowing what to do I excussed myself to go get everyone drinks. In the kitchen I looked at Jace. He looked like I had never seen him before. Happy, his face lit up the room he was constantly smiling and for the first time I saw that his perfectness was obstructed. He had a chopped tooth but in my mind that made him seem humble and in my mind made him so much better.

_Damn it why cant i get him out of my head. I cant be like this he is my patient. This isn't right. but the way he looks at me, the way he touches me so gently With his calloused hands. The way his eyes bore into me and how they capture me, I could look into his eyes forever and never find the end of them. He even makes my heart jump when he speaks, his touch make my heart flutter. I think I might love him. But I cant this job is too important and he doesn't need something else distracting him from being able to have a successful life with a wife as beautifully perfect as him._

trying to get him out of my head was hard, but it had to be done. So I gathered up the 4 lemonades and walked to the kitchen. Sebastian was back and he stood up to grab some of the cups to releive my hassle. Though when he did his hands lingered on mine for just a second longer. They weren't warm and gentle like Jace's they were cold and abrasive. I shuttered to myself and hurried back over to Jace.

~~time skip~~

It was now 9:30 and Izzy's eyes were starting to droop. When we all stood up to leave I gave Izzy a hug, Jace was right we did get along and she was just so sweet. But when I turned to Sebastian and he pulled me into a hug it was hard and his hands roamed alittle too much.

Soon they were out the door and I was sitting on the arm of the small love seat, exahsted. But when I looked to Jace I had a new found energy I smile at him widely. Thats when he did something completely unexpected, he ran up and tightly wrapped his arms around me. The rested on the small of my back and his chin on the top of my head.

"Clary thank you so so so much I never thought I would see her again" he was half whispering. We hugged for just a bit longer until I heard a knock at the door. Blushing bright red I opened the door to see Izzy again.

"Oh hi Izzy did you forget something?" I was confused "no Clary I didnt I wanted to thinl you, I never thought I would see any of my brothers again but when you called" she was tearing up so I hugged her "Its ok I understand just go home and sleep we will see you tomorrow" and with that she was gone.

Jace hugged me one more time before we went so our separate rooms. This night I was oddly cold and felt as if I was missing something.

**ok im crying myself so im with you, i wont be doing daily updates probably but I wont abandon you. I PROMISE**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry its not daily, im an not unmotivated trust me every time I look at how many followers I have I get a huge smile on my face. Im just busy and dont have as much time to just think. But no worries as I said i will NEVER abandon you guys**

**Jaces POV**

As I payed in bed that night I started thinking. _I cant believe Clary found Isabelle and brought her here, just for me. I never thought I could see Izzy so soon, I've missed my family so much. _

_~~Time skip~~_

We were making a breakfast of pancakes bacon and fruit because Isabelle and Sebastian were coming here for breakfast. I was flipping pancakes and making more batter as Clary walked up and down the kitchen forgetting fruit and knives and looking up how to arrange it.

When we heard a knock on the door I left my station to open it. It was Izzy "hey Izzy im so glad your here. You're here early but thats ok we are just making breakfast. You can come sit down and wait. Hey wheres is Sebastian"

She smiled and hugged me, "oh sorry im early and Sebastian had to go back for work but this is my last day with you before I go, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Clary yelled a "hello" and went back to cutting and arranging fruit. I smiles at her and moved around her to finish the pancakes. Izzy say down and started watching tv.

**Izzys POV**

I watched Jace and Clary as they cooked. They were so graceful around each other, always in someway knowing where they were. Jace would lift the batter over Clarys head, Clary would spin around Jace as if not to hit him with a mango.

They moved so perfectly around each other and smiled every time they locked eyes, there was something different with them. Clary was so gentle with Jace, I could see it in her eyes how she watched him. It was like she was ready and waiting for anything, even the worst. But she would never let it hurt him. Jace looked like he teusted her completely, like he was sure she would always protect him.

I wish Sebastian and I were like that, sure he bought me every thing but he was just a little to rough ANG a little to cold. He never held me just to hold me, or kiss me just to feel a spark or cause he wanted it. He just wanted me for image. But I loved him, he did everything for me, even if it wasn't always the right thing.

**Clarys POV**

Once we had a large meal of pancakes and assorted fruit we sat at the small table and duh in. I had two pancakes and a bowl of fruit where as Jace had about 6 pancakes and half the fruit. When I looked to Izzy she just laughed "Jace eats everything, I once saw him eat a whole pot of my moms homemade stew" I looked to Jace who kept eating and with a mouth full replied "hey it was amazing" Izzy and I started laughing as jace put another pancake on his plate and drowned it in syrup.

After a large breakfast (for Jace that is) there were no leftovers so I threw the dishes in the sink and walked back to Jace who was on the couch complaining about his stomach hurting and Izzy who was in a chair scolding him. I shoved over his legs unsuccessfully after hitting his legs with a dish rag a couple time he finally moved.

Izzy looked at her phone then,"oh guys im so sorry, but i need to go. Sebastian's father wants to meet me and he is only in town for the night." Izzy gave each of is a big hug and hurried out the door. After a couple seconds of

Just moments after the door shut Jace had his legs in my lap and was flipping through the TV channels.

We sat like that for hours,I even think Jace fell asleep. By the time it was noon Jace was obviously bored, he had started to poke me every two minutes until I finally just stood up. "Ok Jace how about we go out to the town and go to that diner I mentioned two days ago" this perked Jace up and he got off the couch.

"thaaaaaank you Clary im soooooo bored, let me throw a shirt on" five minutes later we each had clean clothes on and we were walking out the door. This time Jace stood beside me, not right next to me holding my hand. He was walking on his own, he was doing good but we were still in the building. I didnt know how he would react when we got in the loud crowded streets.

As we walked out Jace didn't grab my hand but he moved slightly closer so our arms touched. I was very glad that he had the strength to walk on his own. Just somewhere deep inside me I was disappointed that he didn't take my hand.

As we walked down the street I could feel Jace tense up a little but at a time. Unable to take him being scared or nervous I took his hand and laced our fingers together. He gave an audible sigh of relief. We were now walking side by side our arms touching and fingers intertwined, we were getting looks but soon we were at the Diner.. Taki's.

I opened the door and we say at a booth. Suddenly I heard the doors open and the most annoyingly nasally voice. "Jaaacceeyyy I cant believe I found you. Thank god Izzy gave me your address ITS BEEN FOREVEEEERR"

**Jace's POV**

Walking down the street with Clary was stressful. I wasn't touching her, not even a brush of the arm as we walked by. Once we were out in the streets I moves closer so our arms were just brushing against eachother. Sadly it didnt last, hardly five minutes after we had left I was looking everywhere. My hands twitched and urged to take Clarys hand, to squeeze it and feel the strength in her small hands.

I tried and tried, my hands clenching and unclenching taking deep breaths, I had to be strong show Clary I could walk down the street. Thankfully Clary took my hand, our fingers intertwined as we walked down the street.

We made our way to a small diner im guessing is where Clary had in mind. As we walked in Clary and I chose a booth, when I look at the menu I see just how much stuff they have. I can now tell the theme of the restaurant is fantasy.

_Blood coco- hot chocolate with raspberry flavor _

_Faire fruit- assorted fruit with a light dusting of flavored sugar_

_Blood shake- raspberry and strawberry milkshake mixed together with red food dye._

Jace kept looking through the menu until he heard the doors open and a high nasally voice screeching.

"Jaaaceyyyy I cant believe I found you. Thank god izzy gave me your address ITS BEEN FOREVEEEEEERR"

Jace knew that voice, a voice that Jace never wanted to hear again. Kaelie, his ex from highschool who was a little (a lot) too clingy and jealous and annoying and rude and a whore and a bitch and squeaky. Jace turned back to see her, she was wearing shorts (or underwear) and a tube top that was 2 sizes too small even for a tube top.

She had a serious condition of cake face and a tan so fake that not even the blind could be fooled.

I smiled slightly at her then looked down back at the menu, Clary placed her hand on mine then moved it back quickly as Kaelie sat by me. "Jace Im so glad you are OK ive missed you, maybe we can get back together". This girl never shut up. That when Clary cleared her throat, Kaelie have her a look that could kill a village and with a voice dripping poison said "oh, are you Jaceys girlfriend, you know he only goes for tan blondes not pale carrot tops" I could see Clary physically sink back in her chair, i had to speak up.

"No Kaelie this is Clary Fray my.. My., what do i call you?" I looked to Clary. She smiled "im his physical and mental therapist. I help Jace with his PTSD and how to hand..." She was caught off by Kaelie "Oh so your his shrink, well im sure Jace is perfectly fine. He is big and tough, thats why he went into the army he can handle anyyyything. So run along to your little shack so I can catch up and some more with my Jacey"

man this girl was a bitch. "Actually Kaelie she lives with me, incase I ever have an attack at night. Which I have had, so I would love it if you could leave her alone because she has saved my life." Clary was now blushing but she still looked like she had curled up inside herself.

Kaelie was still killing her with her eyes when she spoke AGAIN. "Well well well I bet you just sit there at that house looking at Jace wishing someone like him would ever love you, you're no help to him all he needs is a real woman at night. Not some flat cheated flat ass midget nerd. he needs someone with curves"

I couldn't respond to Kaelie because I was running out the door after Clary. I made it pretty far, almost reaching her until I noticed how many people were around me.

** Yeah I know you all hate me... Butttttt this chapter is longer so be happy with that. Im busy the next days so I wont have much time to write. Im sorry. Rate what you think**


	10. Chapter 10

**alright guys, im writing while im half asleep just for you but i am so proud. And for the first time in like ever i said "i love people" just because you all you guys**

**Clarys Pov**

I run outside away from the diner, I knew I shouldn't have left Jace there I know it just I couldn't help it. What she said kept playing over and over in my mind.

_You just sit im your apartment watching Jace wishing he could like someone like you" she was right though. Jace wouldn't like me let alone love me, im a short flat chested girl with a temper and frizzy red hair. Jace is a god, a golden Greek god. With his flawless sun kissed skin, his soft halo of gold hair, and his beautiful eyes that were so deep you could search for days in then. Yet somehow his eyes showed everything. The way the darkened after an attack, how the lit up with his sister, and even how the churned with... Something when I got hurt. He could never love me, i was too under average for him. And he shouldn't he deserves someone who wouldnt be question why when they walked side by side. And that would never be me._

suddenly a scream shook me from my thoughts.

A scream I know too well, Jaces. I run back through the crowd, I hadn't realized he had followed me but luckily he wasn't far behind me. He was presses up against a random building, knees to chest, eyes shut wide, and hands pulling hair. Kaelie was next to him, screaming her ass off at Jace to "wake up and stand up".

I pushed her to the side "Kaelie shut the hell up, screaming makes it worse. You just need to go," she glared at me with such a look that it hurt even my face. "Kaelie LEAVE, Jace needs to go home. You will not escort him he needs a person who knows whats happening, not some bitch with too much make up" This finally made her storm away and I turned my attention back to Jace.

"Jace its me Clary, come on you need to get up and we can walk home". I touched his hands gently and moved them from pulling his hair. Next I lifted his head so was looking into my eyes, his eyes dark and far away focused on me and soon he was just looking at me, both his hands on mine.

Slowly, and still holding his hands we stood up. Jace held his head down almost in shame as we walked, he looked like a child who had just been scolded. His head was low and shoulders slouched. Yet he never let go of my hand.

As we walked into our apartment Jace let go of my hand and went over to the couch. He buried his head in his hands and put his elbows on his knees. I slowly walked over to him and say next to him, I rubbed small circles in his back until he finally spoke.

"Clary I am so sorry, I thought I could do it. Walking there, I had almost made it, we were so close but I itched to take your hand, to have A tether to this world. But my pride, I had to be able to walk on my own, I couldn't even walk. Then when you ran out, I had to follow you Clary, and I almost made it, but then I realized my one tether to sanity was gone. I could hear Kaelie screaming but I couldn't hold on, she wasn't someone I wanted to come back to."

He looked so sad. "Jace its ok its my fault, I never should have ran and left you. It wasn't right, you are my responsibility I should be helping you not forcing you to chase me because some girl called me ugly. Look Jace I promise I will never _never _let you down like that again. Just why dont you sleep, I'll be right out here"

Jace just later down on the couch and put his legs in my lap like we always sit. "Clary can I just sleep here, with you" I looked at him sadly "No Jace, come on I'll take you to your room."

I took his hand and pulled him on to his feet. In his room I could tell he was half asleep because he didn't even pull the sheets up and didnt notice when i did. "Alright Jace I'm going to be out on the couch incase you need something. I put my hand on the doorknob when I heard a voice. "Wait Clary I need something" i turned to him. "Clary I need you, please stay" His voice was so sad, I had to do something. "Alright jace Just go to bed I will be right here next to you. As soon a I sat down the phone started ringing. "Im sorry Jace Ill be right back" he mumbled a response as I left.

As soon as I picked up the phone I heard the voice of a frantic Izzy. "Oh mu god Clary i heard what happened, I'm soooooo sorry that i have Kaelie your address I thought she had changed since high school. Is Jace ok, please tell me he is." I sighed "Izzy shhhh, yes Jace is fine he in bed right now and asleep. Its not your fault, I understand you want your brother to be happy. Hey Izzy I have to go Ill call you tomorrow, yeah Jace is asleep."

I sighed and set the phone down. When I walked back to Jace's room, when I opened up the door Jace was fast asleep. I didnt want to wake him so I went to the couch, somehow I felt disappointed but I knew Jace needed to sleep.

**Jace's POV**

As I laid in bed I though of what Clary said.

_I was only a responsibility, not someone she chooses to be with. I was just her latest project for work. She would never be with me out of choice. She deserves someone who is just as strong brave and beautiful as her. I am scarred inside and out, my mind was scarred, nothing could change that. My body was scarred too, something that reflects just how broken I am on the inside. She deserves someone she could be proud to walk down the street with, not someone like me._


	11. Chapter 11

**I am so happy that this story has been so successful, knowing that what i do makes people feel so much. It just is amazing, you guy make my day every day. Keep reading keep loving keep obsessing.**

**One week Later**

**Clarys POV**

Things have been a little awkward between us for the past week. The words Jace said kept playing in my mind "_Clary I need you" _those words wouldn't stop playing in my mind, the way he said them. He was tired and scared but as he said those 4 words he sounded so sure.

This morning I desided to wake Jace up early because I had a surprise for him. I walked out of my room fully dressed and ready, it was 8:00 already but Jace usually slept till 9:30. I turned the oven on to pre-heat for muffins and then knocked on Jaces door.

Five minutes and with muffins in the oven and Jace till not out of bed I desided to go in and wake him.

When I walked in his room I actually looked around, it was spotless. There was nothing out of place, not shoes, no old shorts or pants. The only thing that showed it was his room was a picture someone had taken of us and Izzy.

I walked over to a sleeping Jace and looked down at him. His features were undisturbed by his mind. I placed my hand on his shoulder, lightly shaking him.

He wouldn't wake up until I started saying his name, when he woke up his hair was a mess and his eyes were droopy. It was a funny sight.

"alright Jace we have some visitors that will be here in 3 hours, Im making muffins so get dressed and come on we need to clean the apartment." As I left I heard Jace sigh and there was a thump on his be do I threw a pillow at him, he caught it but it still got him out of bed.

As I was still plopping muffins out of the tin Jace emerged from his room, he was wearing a nice blue polo and black pants. "Wow Jace why are you dressed so nice?" he smirked and spun around, arms out. "Well Clary, last time you said we were having guests Izzy came over. Sooooo i figured i would take out my only nice clothes and be ready for some people" He took a bow and I scoffed at him.

I threw a muffin at him and he caught it, but when he took a bite it was still hot so he was jumping around with his mouth open, I started laughing at him until he threw tge last bit of the muffin at me.

I hit me strait in the head and I gasped. I threw another muffin at him but it only hit his chest, thats when we started to crack up laughing. After I caught my breath Jace was still laughing so I went over to him.

"come on Jace, we need to clean. We only have 2 and a half hours" Jace stood up completely now, he towered over me yet every day he looked to me for guidance but today he is doing some thing on his own.

"Alright Jace, today you are going to be independent. You are going to clean the apartment for our guests, not my room but the kitchen living room and bathroom." Jace looked astonished.

"But but Clary how am I going to know what to do" I looked at him "well Jace you make your own decisions but I suggest you do the worst first which is the kitchen, and dont eat the muffins" he smirked at me.

Imitating my voice he said "but i can make my own decisions " and he plopped a muffin in his mouth.

I glared at him, he ate another. "JACE! Now we only have 15" he smiled and turnes the sink on to do dishes.

I sat in the couch and turned the TV on, as Jace did dishes I noticed that he was concentrating very hard on what he was doing. He didn't even look towards me when one of the cups dropped but luckily it did not break.

I was so proud of him, I know it seems petty that he was doing something so simple but for him. It was one step towards independence.

Soon all rooms were clean and Jace walked over to our small couch and barely moved my legs enough to sit down. This time unlike all the others we sat here I put my legs him and stretched out. I was barely too big laying down, when Jace laid here his legs hung off almost from the knees, my feet hardly hung off.

It was now 10:45, we had 15 minutes until our "guests" got here, I turned the channel from AFV to the news and Jace tried to grab the control.

"Clary come on! I hate the news, we still have 15 minutes till the people show up pleeeaaaaassseee." I loiked at him and shook my head. "Jace its fine, they might be early anyway"

Jace ignored me and reached for the control. I may not be tall but i was just tall enough to keep it out of his reach, this time Jace actually tried to get the contorl and stretched his body out almost over mine. He was just inches from the control.

He tried one more time, his body was right next to mine. He was about to reach the control so I dropped it. When I turned back to Jace i saw haut how close he was. His hand was by my head and his other by my hip, his whole body pressed into mine but not painfully. Them I looked at his face, he was about 6 inches from me and looking in my eyes.

I looked back into his eyes as he moved ever so closer, we were now inches from each other. I moved my hand onto his and looked back at him. I could feel our breaths mingling, he moves closer.

That is when I heard a knock at the door.

**Ok who loves me! Yes you do... Yeah no you dont i know sorry**

**sorry guys but i cant update a bunch, i do have a job and im getting busier **


	12. Chapter 12

**THREE CHEERS FOR SEXUAL TENSION? no ok. So thank you to ALLLLL of you guys i love you. Please do review more i want to know what you guys think.**

**Jaces POV**

_God im so stupid, Clary was just messing with me and I almost kissed her. What was I thinking, I know that she would never love and accept me. I was too damaged, so much that I could never have a life. But when I was inches from her, my body pressed to hers, it felt so right. Her small body lined up perfectly with mine, then she placed her hand on mine. I lost it, my head spun, i already had a hand on her hip,but this. She knew what she was doing when she placed her hand on mine. When I moved closer not only could hear abd feel out breaths mingling but I could feel the heat coming off her body. I jusf had to move in an inch when there was a knock at the door._

**Clarys POV**

When I heard the knock I quickly pushed away from Jace, my cheeka were flaming and the edge of my shirt had ridden up so i pulled it back down. I walked to the door and took a deep breath, i looked back to Jace before I openes the door, he looked like a puppy that was just scolded. I sighed and turned to the door, hoping Jace would thank me I turned the hansleep and opened the door.

There stood a tall woman, probably in her 40's. Behind her stood a boy, he was probably around 11 and had black hair with striking blue eyes.** (Yes ik age is off but this will work better with what i plan). **I looked up at the woman, she looked like Isabelle, I stuck out my hand. "Hello, you must be Maryse im Cla..." I was cut off by the screech of the little boy running past me.

The little boy ran strait to Jace whos face was lot up like a chistmas tree** (im mean) **as the little boy jumped up Jace caught him and spun him around. I turned back to Maryse. She smiled a bit "im sorry Clarissa, thats your name right? Well Max idolized Jace before he left and I guess well we haven't seen Jace in 4 years." I smiled at her, "its fine come on I made some muffins and I would like to talk".

**Jaces POV**

I was so ashamed of what I had done to Clary that I didnt look at who was at the door. I was about to go up to here when I heard a yell, I looked up and saw a sight I never thought I would. My little brother max, he was running towards me. Quickly my reflexes kicked in and I lifted him up and spun him around.

When I set him back down I kneeled and pulled him to my chest. "Ahhh buddy I'Ve missed you so much." He smiled a toothy grin. "hey Jace im 10 now! And im the tallest im my class!" I laughed "wow your old Max, I bet you'll be as tall as Alec when you are done growing" My stomach knotted at the mention of Alec and I could see Max's eyes darken a shade but then he perked back up. "Do you really think im going to be taller than you Jace?" I shook my head. "Hey I was taller than Alec, remember we made it official too" He furrowed his eyebrows."Noooo i going to be taller than youuuuu" I stood up and ruffled his hair. "We you have a long way to go then, gotta eat your broccoli and zucchini" he made a gagging noise.

I looked to Clary who was in the kitchen leaning against the counter talking to Maryse. She was so amazing, she had reunited me with not only my family but my independence. I was looking at her when there was a pull on my shirt, it was max. When I looked down at him he whispered "who is she?". I smiled at him and took his hand, "come on lets go meet her". Going to the kitchen was only about 5 steps for me but after what happened hardly 5 minutes ago it felt like i was walking al the way down the hall.

I walked up to Maryse and hugged her tightly, then with max hiding behind me I turned to Clary, she was still slightly red but it was adorable. "Clary i would like to introduce you to my little brother max" I pulled him out from behind me and he smiled shyly. Max stuck out his hand and Clary took it softly. "Well hello max im clary. Hey I made some muffins, do you want one. They have chocolate chips." This actually got Max to step out completely and give her his toothy grin. " really could I have some please!" Clary laughed and grabbed out plate of muffins.

Max grabbed three muffins and shoved them all in his mouth " thsankag hsuo Clareysh" he spoke with his mouth full. Clary laughed and turned to Maryse, "wow he eats like Jace" they both laughed at that. I placed my hand over my heart and opened my mouth in mock hurt. Clary giggles and hit me in the chest. "How about we go to the living room now that Jace and max are done messing around."

As we sat down it turned out that Max and I sat on the couch while Clary and Maryse had to pull up a chair.

After about 10 minutes of is talking and Max jumping up and down on the couch Max randomly blurted out, "Jace is Clary your girlfriend?" Clary almost spit out the muffin she was nibbling at and she turned bright red. I decided to speak up.

"no max she not, not at all. Clary helps me, she is like a very good friend. Hey max why dont you go get another muffin" he smiled "ok!".

Maryse smiled apologetically "im sorry guys, he doesn't really have a filter" Clary laughed slightly but then Maryse turned to her "but i would like to know your guys' relationship"

Clary took a deep breath. "Well im a libe in therapist, which means i live here in the apartment for veterans with Jace, we so have different rooms. Buto im with Jace 24/7 just incase he has an attack." Maryse seemed pleased with this answer but asked another question.

"so how has Jace been doing" Clary turned to me and I nodded. She was about to speak when Max came up to her. "Uhhh Clary you're out of muffins and i need to wash my hands". I stood up and mouthed a sorry and then walked Max to our bathroom.

When we came back Clary was Just finishing up talking about how I was doing. Maryse stood up then. "Im sorry guys but we have to go, its already 1 and we are meeting IzY at 2" I have Maryse a big hug then turned to Max. We hugged quickly and they headed out.

when they were gone I fell on to the couch and stretched out momentarily forgetting what happened last time I was here. I looked to clary who was washing the muffin plate and I decided I had to go up to her about it.

"hey uhh Clary about this morning..." I could see her freeze and tense up and turn red, i couldn't make her that uncomfortable "thank you so much for getting Max and Maryse up here" her shoulders fell and her face returned back to its color, with only a little red.

I wouldn't talk about it now but we had to, I was hoping that what I felt wasn't just what I felt, I was hoping that she felt it too.

**WHO IS READY FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! Yeah sorry but you have to wait. Please review, and share the word of this fanfic. I want to make it to 60 followers. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys, so we are almost to my goal of 60 followers. Please review cause with all my followers i have little reviews.**

**Jaces POV**

It had been a week after Max came to visit, I spoke with him every day on the phone. Clary and I have not spoken about what had happened last week, I know it is very childish of us but it was just in the heat of the moment. We had gone almost back to normal, though now when we sit together on the couch we only sit, we rarely touch. Its kind of odd and I dont like not being able to mess with her and be comfortable, but this is for the best.

For the past two days Clary has been sick, not real badly but coughing aching and not being able to eat anything but toast. This has been hard on me because I've been doing more stuff on my own. This afternoon I was even able to cut up an apple for a snack. When I showed clary she smiled and started going on about how much progress I've made until she started coughing.

I placed my hand on her shoulder as she started coughing, when she stopped she looked pale and tired. "Here Clary why dont you lay down here on the couch, I'll just pull up a chair" she nodded and laid her head on the armrest. "Hey clary" I spoke gently. "just go to sleep, you look like you haven't slept in days" after I said this she mumbled and unrecognizable response and shook her head.

within 5 minutes she was asleep and I was left to fend for myself. I grabbed my laptop and started playing random games. It was around 12:00 and I was getting hungry, I looked up the name of the diner we went to a while ago and learned that they delivered food.

Hoping that this would make Clary feel good I clicked on the little soup icon and brought it to the little shopping cart. Once i had gotten a chicken sandwich and typed in the address of our apartment. I walked into my room and grabbed my suit case, in there I had 200 dollars stashed away, i know it sounds like a lot but this was a gift from Alec, he had been saving this up for him and his boyfriend to go somewhere when he got home. But when he died he had told Will, a tall boy with dark hair, to give it to me.

I never understood why he gave this to me but today I could help out Clary, giving her a day off from cooking.

I grabbed a 20 dollar bill and when back to the chair I pulled. When I looked at the computer screen it said that our delivery person would be here in 5 minutes. I took a deep breath and started playing out what I was going to do in order to keep calm.

_alright Jace you got this, breathe. This i all for clary, it will help her. Just think of her, be strong for her, you cant rely on her today._

I kept repeating this to myself until I heard a knock at the door, I got up and taking a deep breath I walked to the door and opened it. There was a girl with auburn hair, her name tag said seelie. She had a fake tan and fake smile. When she saw me she reached in her pocket and placed a piece of paper in our bag. Breathing hard I gave her the 20 dollar bill and grabbed our food. I had barely grabbed my change before I closed the door in her face.

I set our food on the counter and sat back down in the chair, I needed to calm down before I ate. I felt physically sick, I closed my eyes and breathed, it didn't help at all. I walked over to Clary and flet her forehead, it was cold and clammy. I went to my bed and grabbed a random blanket, carefully laying it over her. Just doing something for Clary made me feel better and I knew that I should eat before I woke Clary up to eat.

As I dug around in the bag I pulled out the box that would be mine, then I saw the small peice of paper the delivery girl slipped in my bag. It was her number, I just rolles my eyes and threw the paper in the trash. I knew what girl I wanted, the girl that was perfect for me.

After I was done eating i looked to clary, she was still asleep and was rwitchingvin her sleep, she looked so unhappy.

i walked over to her and kneeled on the ground, i placed my hand on one of her shoulders, shaking them I sai. "Clary, hey wake up I got some soup for you" finally she say up.

"Jace where'd you get this?" I told her my whole story though I left out the girl giving me her number.

Clary said nothing after that and with her eyes drooping she stopped eating, "hey Jace some sit by me" she sounded half out of it so I wasn't sure. "Uh clary are you sure" she smiled. "Yeah Jace I just want to talk." Unsure I walked over and sat by her.

"Jace what you did was very independent. You are making so much progress, you faced someone on your own, with you doing so good i probably only have" she was falling asleep on my shoulder. "Clary shhh just go to sleep" I stood up and gently laid he back down. I needed someone who knew what to do.

I picked up the phone and dialed one of the 3 numbers I know. "Hello, Izzy. Hey im sorry and I know you dont know her well but Clary is sick and I dont know what to do. Please help" her response was full of worry. " oh Jace are you alright, what a. I saying is she Ok. Yeah Jace Ill be there in an hour. Tell clary to sleep and drink water." I told her that she was asleep and that she ate half a cup of soup. "And izzy?" I said "yeah jace". "Thank you so much, I dont think Clary has slept in days and now, well she wont feel so bad knowing you're here".

With that I hung up and looked back to Clary who was mumbling something unrecognizable again.

**Awehhhhh so sweet, you guys wanna guess whos numbers he knows? **


	14. Chapter 14

**this is not an update... I am sorry guys but i will now be posting less. I have my ideas and everything so i will never abandon you guys but im getting busier. I am now cowriting a crossover fanfiction with my best friend. This will not be out only on, check it out when we post also. **

**I love you all and will never abandon you, im way too proud**


	15. Chapter 15

**omg all the people that have followed this, you have exceeded my expectations and its still growing, keep reviewing. All of you guys are amazing, im sorry that this is late, cowriting a story takes a lot more talking than I though. So let's get to the story.**

**FJaces POV**

About and hour later there was a knock on the door. I opened it to see Izzy holding a purse and a small duffel bag, she gave me a quick hug and walked inside. " thanks for calling, Wi brought 2 days worth of clothes and also I stopped by the store and picked up so DayQuil and Advil, can you get them both out of my bag and also get a glass of water" Izzy took control right away and I hurried to grab what she wanted.

"Jace forget the DayQuil its alread. 4:00 and she will never sleep if we give it to her. come on we are waking her up" I set the glass of water and 2 Advil on our coffee table and kneeled beside Clary. I place a hand on her shoulder.

"Clary hey, hey come on wake up. I called Izzy and she is here to help you." She turned over to face me, when I kept shaking her softly and saying her name. Finally her eyes fluttered opened and I was left staring into emerald green eyes, deeper than the ocean and even when sick bright as stars. I smiled softly at her and motioned for to sit up, when she did she saw Izzy and quickly looked to me.

I looked down and rub the back of my neck with my hand. "I uh called Izzy, I didnt know what to do". Izzy spoke now, " yeah and by how frantic he was I thought you were dying" she smiled and pulled up a chair next to Clary and I. "So I brought some Advil which is right there am a some DayQuil but its too late to take that". She smiled happily when Clary reached for the pills and swallowed them. Clary's eyes started to droop and she was leaning to the side. "no no no Clary you need to stay up, you will never fall asleep tonight, come in why dont you eat some more." Izzy patted her hand and told me to get something.

I thought this would be a good time to warm up the rest of her soup, I popped it in the microwave. When it was done I grabbed a spoon and brought it over to her. Izzy had taken my seat next to Clary, i was slightly disappointed but I didnt want to say anything so I just sat in the other chair.

Clary was now wrapped up in a blanket and had another wrapped around her shoulders like a shawl. Her eyes still looked droopy but she was paid more attention when I handed her the soup.

The rest of the day played out with us ordering food and watching tv as trying to keep Clary awake, around 9:30 we couldn't do it anymore and we started discussing sleeping arrangements.

We decided I would sleep on the couch and Izzy could sleep in my bed, little did Clary know but i slept there most nights, i hated being alone but i had no excuse to be with clary. I could never think of one, all excuses made me sound like a 4 year old who had a bad dream. I didnt want anyone to know how helpless i was.

**time skip to next morning**

**Clarys POV**

When I woke up my headache was gone, but when I stood up I realized that there was smoke in the air. I was afraid that Jace was cooking when he had an attack so I quickly ran out of my room.

What I saw was not at all what I thought I would ever see. Izzy was standing in the kitchen waving a dish rag over a boiling pot, Jace was in the corner laughing is ass off and on the stove was a pot with so much smoke i though we had a fire.

I started coughing and then saw Jace rush over to me, " oh Clary crap im sorry we woke you up, here come sit in the living room there is less smoke there." I sat down and smiled as Jace ran over and lifted the pot off the stove. Izzy gave me an embarrassed smile and opened our only window to clear the smoke.

When the smoke had cleared out for the most part Jace took a seat by me, still kinda laughing and Izzy took the chair this time.

"Im sorry Clary I was trying to make you some oat meal but i guess I put the stove on high and the water boiled up and when I poured in the package it just started to burn" Izzy gave me embarrassed smile.

Jace was still giggling at my side but I hit him in the chest. "Its ok Izzy, i still donto feel great, i couldn't eat anything either" I smiled softly at her. After a couple moments of silence Izzy spike again. "Hey uh Clary can i speak to you alone?"

I nodded and looked to Jace, "hey Jace, will you be ok with washing out the pot whe Izzy and I speak in my room." He nodded and got up, we went to my room and i shut the door. "Alright so whats up izzy"

She looked away and spoke quietly "I uh dont know how to tell you this but I knobs of need a place to stay. Sebastian and I broke up, dont tell Jace this EVER but he was, well rough with me and I broke up with him. This happened about a week ago and I've been at a hotel but i cant tell my parents this, the expected us to be married so their businesses could merge, but now."

She looked on the verge of tears so i walked up to her and just hugged her "of course Izzy, jace loves you and you are a great person, you will always be welcome"

she tightly hugged me back, "thank you so much i promise it wont be long, just a couple days before i tell my parents"

**yay izzy is here! Ok who expected that with Sebastian *gag*. Sorry that was very badly written.**


	16. Chapter 16

**yay a sooner update! Ok guys im really really want you guys to help me reach my goal of 75 followers please please please help me.**

**Clarys POV**

It has been 3 days since Izzy came to stay with us, I have not let her cool any more. Jace and I did all of the cooking, today is her last day staying hear so we are going out to and early lunch.

"Jace come on wake up we are leaving in an hour" I was shaking Jace on the couch cause it was already 10:00. Izzy stood next to me in a small yellow sundress laughing. "Clary there is no way you are going to wake him up" i took this as a bet so I went to the kitchen and grabbed a cup of water. When I returned I slowly dripped water on to his face.

Jace woke up and quickly say up, I set the cup down. "Sorry Jace, we need to leave in an hour for Taki's and then Izzy has to go" he grumbled and laid back down.

An hour and a half later Jace was finally ready and we were out on the street. Jace was walking close to me but he didn't hold my hand, our hands did brush often though. I dont know if Izzy noticed but for some reason she started smiling so i guessed it was a yes.

When we made it to Taki's Jace and I were practically holding hands, they were constantly touching. We chose a booth and sat down, I sat next to Izzy and Jace say across from us. Soon we had a waitress come up.

"Hello, welolcome to Taki's what can I do for you?" Izzy ordered a Club Salad while Jace and I ordered Cheeseburgers. Soon after they waitress left Jace excused himself to the restroom, he brushed up against me as he left.

Izzy turned to me "alright confession time" i was confused by this statement. "I have been with you guys for 3 days now so dont act clueless. What is going on with you and my brother!?"

This completely caught me off guard but I guess some where in the back of my mind I expected this. "I uh. Nothing Isabelle, we are keeping this strictly business. There was one time but it was nothing I promise Iz" she reacted in a complete opposite way. This girl was defiantly not what met the eyes.

She practically squealed "eeeekkkk what is this 'one time' did you guys kiss. You to are so obviously meant to be" I blushed furiously "n-nothing" Jace all the sudden walked up out of the blue.

"whats nothing?" he was casually looking at me, luckily thats when our food arrived.

As the waitress set our food down she let her hand linger on Jaces. Izzy looked mad but I just tried to supress a smile, he was so oblivous to it an. He kept his eyes on me. After just a couple seconds she left and we all dove into our food, no one mentioning the waitress.

Once we were done eating we were given the bill, when i opened up the little book to but $30 in there was small note in the corner of the bill.

_call me when you want some fun 476-555-7412_

When I showed this to izzy we both started giggling, Jace was clueless. "What guys? Whats so funny, can I see?". I turned the bill over to him "Come on Jace why dont give her a call, i bet you would love her" when I teased him his face flushed and he looked away.

After we had our laughs and Jace kpet turning away we got up, I paid the bill and we headed out. As we walked down the street Jace and I did the same thing. Our hands kept brushing more and more until they just stayed side by side. Izzy and I kept talking about what she was going to do when she got back home.

All too soon we were outside our apartment and next to Izzys car, it was packed up fully with all her stuff from Sebastians. We hugged good bye one last time, Izzy was teared up but she promised to visit and we promised to call if something happened. She winked at me and I blushed.

As she pulled out Jace and I waved and started heading back to our apartment. As we walked into our apartment we both sat down on our small couch and turned on the Tv. It was already 2:00 so we just watched Tv for a couple hours until it was time for me to make dinner.

As I made spaghetti I kept looking over at Jace, I kept thinking of what Izzy said. She and her crazy mind, she was so sure of us. I couldn't do it though it waant right, I dont thing he even feels the same way.

I pushes the thought out of my mind. I finally finished the dinner around 7:00. It was late but we did eat a late lunch. We ate silently, not an awkward silence but the was just nothing to say.

When done Jace and I kept our routine of doing the dishes, I washed then and Jace dried them. As we were done we started putting them up, I was reaching up to but away a bowl but I was too short, Jace walked up to me from behind and took it from me.

I was very aware of how close we were, he was pressing right into me. I had no where to go, I felt the warmth of his body and the firmness of his muscles. He looked down to me and i was not looking into deep hazel eyes. We stood there for moments, looking into each others eyes. Quietly almost unheard Jace muttered "oh fuck it".

He slowly brought his head down, we were inches away, our breathes mingling and our eyes never leaving each other. Before I knew it his lips were on mine. Soft and warm, gentle but with fire.

**CLACE MY DEAR I LOVE YOU SO! You people are welcome. The clace is here but I always have to leave on cliff hangers. I dont know how long it will be till my next update. Fair week is coming up and im in 4-H so I'll be busy. Sorry people.**

**help me reach my gaol of 75 followers!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Yay Clace, now who wants more! Sorry for the wait. Please review and help me get just a couple more followers**

**Clarys POV**

I was so surprised by it when he did kiss me, I soon melted into him and kisses back. When it was suddenly over everything that just happened came rushing back to me, dread but happiness washed over me. I hurried to me room and all but slammed the door, I feel into my bed and started thinking.

_He kissed me, he really did it. Right after I told there was nothing, he is amazing. But now what, if they find out im in a romantic relationship with a patient I would be fired for good. That was rule 2 and I knew it._

I couldn't stop thinking of the bad but i couldn't stop feeling the good.

The way his hand lingered on my hip, not moving for more but content with the small touch of resting on my hip. His hair falling over his face tickling mine. His lips on mine, gentle and full no pressure just soft against mine. He never moved farther, he never forced himself on to me. He just stood there, lips on mine. It was so amazing, I loved him. I know this now, after everything that we had been through. I wanted to always be with him, to protect him from him self anfb his mind.

Even though it was only 9:00 I desided to go to sleep. Hoping things would be better in the morning I fell asleep thinking of soft gold.

**Jaces POV**

I did it, I kisses her and she was horrifyed. I know it sounds cliché but I thought that she would just slap me, never kiss back. I kept replaying the moment in my head as I laid in my bed.

_I had my hand on her hip, not pressing hard but I could feel her bone and every breath she took. I moved my head down, my hair falling over my face. I muttered something that seems so stupid now but it was all I could say. When I brought my lips down on hers she froze, and just for a moment I thought she was going to slap me. But then, then she kissed me back. Fire coursed through me, it was amazing. It was everything I felt for her pressed into one small kiss. It lasted seconds but all I had to say was pressed into it. Then she ran to her room, my stomach dropped when she did. She ran away from me. Slowly I walked into my room and fell to my bed._

I was now laying on my bed. Trying to think of a way to face her. I couldn't just avoid it like last time, I wanted this to happen, I am willing to try and give all to stay with her. Because she has saved me, she is my rock. I need her more than any family or item, because she is all I want.

**Clarys POV**

When I wake up I am still wearing the clothes from last night, I slip on a fresh tanktop and shorts. Before I walk out to cook I see a small piece of paper that was obviously slipped under my door.

When I picked it up I realized it was folded perfectly and in looped and rushed handwriting there was my name on it. I was obviously from Jace, I sat on my need and unfolded it.

_Dear Clarissa_

_It is now 12:30 when I am writing this. I have been thinking of ways to tell you how sorry I and an that I regret this. But I dont, I have been waiting to do that since I woke up that first day and realized that I had slept with our a dream. You are my dream, a dream is something or someone that is far out of reach but you reach for it anyway. Something that may never come to you, you may just get a glimpse of it. But you, I have you and I wont let you slip through my fingers. I can never say im sorry, because I will never regret being able to kiss you even if just once. The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner, it sounds cliché but Clarissa Fray I love you. If a kiss is all I will ever get then I can live with that, staying in my life is all you need to give me. Even if you leave me and love someone else, stay with me and stay happy. Its not me I care about its you, stay with me and I will protect you, we will protect each other. _

_-A broken soul waiting to be mended. _

As I read this I felt tears well up in my eyes, this boy poured his heart out for me. He was more than I thought, he was broken before war, war just broke him more and I am healing him. I never thought I could hold so much power over one person, but thats just it, he has the same power over me.

With tears in my eyes I stood up, set the not on my bed and walked to my door. I knew what I was going to do, I couldn't write like Jace and make everything so right. But I could do something. I opened my door and marched strait to his. I knocked on his door hoping he would be awake.

When he opened it I didnt pay attention to the bags under his eyes or the wrinkles in his shirt. All I did was get on my tip toes, placed my hand on the back of his neck. I pulled him down to me, I kisses him roughly, our lips pressing harder and our bodies closer.

**Ok im pretty sure all of you guys love me, im so so so happy with this, please all review i would like to gain 10 reviews, all of you think that someone else will review, well how about you do.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Alright i bet all guys love me and cant wait for this chapter. Well here it is, dont forget to review!.**

**Jaces POV **

Iwas sittimg in my room, head burried in my hands and my elbows on my knees. I was waiting, waiting for Clary to tell me that she doesn't love me, I was stupid. I should have never written that note, she would never feel the same way, I saw how she ran away. I never should have slipped it under her door, now I can never take it back, she will read it and things will never be the same again.

There was a knock at my door, I knew it was her. I looked at myself quickly, my shirt was rumpled, my hair a mess and my eyes red. I couldn't change of anything but it wont matter, she wont see me that way. I open the door to he standing there.

Her eyes were red and hair tangled, she had changed clothes though and she was now wearing a tanktop that clung to her slight curves and shorts taht bearly reached mid-thigh. She was breath taking, no matter what she would always be.

I dont know what I was expecting her to do but what ever it was it wasn't what she did. She reaches up and placed her hand behind my neck, she was on her tiptoes but then brought my head down and our lips met. The kiss was rough, not painful but not as gentle as our first. I placed my hands on her hips and she brought hers to my hair, I about lost it then and deepened the kissed. God it felt so good, so right to be with her.

When she pulled away I looked at her again. Her eyes were bright, they lit up her face, she also had an out of breath smile plastered on her face. I smiled down at her and placed my forehead on hers. It was kind of weird given her height but we were so close, I could feel our breaths mingling. "I love you" I whispered to her, she sighed slightly. "I love you too" she said after just a moment, but in that moment I was so scared and now, this is more than a dream come true.

**Clarys POV**

As I was kissing him he places his hands on my hips, I lost it. I put my hand through his hair, tangling my fingers in it. When he deepened the kiss I went with him, it was rough, but loving at the same time. I was the first one to pull away, out of breath I was smiling and looked up at him. His eyes were bright, he now had a smile on his face too. He brought his head down and our foreheads were touching, I could tell it was awkward for him but he was happy. When he said "I love you" I sighed, not unhappy but in releif. I looked up again but his eyes had turned dark, i realizes I had sent said it back but I soon did and he was smiling again.

**Jaces POV**

I kisses her one more time, it was slow and short. Then I took her hand and went to the couch. When I laid down she was about to protest when I grabbed her hand again and pulled her on top of me. I smiled bigger and put my arms around me, she smiled and laid her head on my chest. I turned on the Tv to a random channel, I think it was a movie but I didnt care. I was running my hand up and down her back, not moving her tanktop to make her uncomfortable but just to reassure me that this is really her. I really have the love of my life in my arms right now.

"Clary?" I whisper, "hmmm?" She moaned an answer. "lool at me", when she did I placed my finger under her chin and lifted her head to mine. When our lips met I felto the same sparks I did last time. I pulled away "sorry I had to", she smiled and moved her head closer. "Mmm i know what you mean" she whispered it so softly, I lost control and kissed her again.

When I traced the bottom of her lip with my tongue she opened her mouth and we started fighting for control. When she gave up I deepened the kiss. Her hands went so my hair, tangling it in her fingers she was slightly tugging it. I moaned and placed my hands on her hips again, this time though her tanktop had ridden up.

Her skin was soft and warm, no flaws at all. I bork the kiss this time and she placed her head back on my chest but didnt move her hands from my hair, I kept my hands on her hips, relishing every touch we shared.

I pressed one last kiss on the top of her head and turned back to the Tv. I was half asleep when I heard her phone buzzing. "Clary, hey wake up, your phone is ringing" she moaned and grabbed her phone. Rolling over so her back is on my chest she answered. " hello, yes this is she". She remained quiet and I suddenly felt her tense up. After another couple seconds of silence she replied "uh yes sir" she hung up, her head hitting my chest. I wrapped my arms around her,"you ok?" Sh. Sighed and turned over to face me.

"Well its been 2 months since you and I have started uh working together and well, my boss is coming. And if he finds out about us I'll be fired for good" she was tearing up so I pulled her tightly to my chest and muttered into her ear "its ok we can hide it, im not giving you up when I just got you"

**ok guys sorry that was like one gigantic make out scene but it was sweet and cute. I also have not experience in this subject these descriptions are from my experiences in 200+ tmi fanfics and TONS of books**


	19. Chapter 19

**Ok guys sorry I cant update much this week, it is fair week here and im in it. I will hopefully update just once this week but im even writing this last moment for you guys. Sorry and enjoy **

**Jaces POV**

I hugged Clary to my chest, she was breathing hard and had her hands clamped into fists. We had sat like that for about an hour now, I couldn't stand how sad she looked so I kissed the top of her head and moved. I sat up and she looked to me, "Jace what are you doing?" i smiled. "Well my dear I am not letting you mope, we need to get ready you said he'd be here tomorrow" Clary sighed and put her head into my chest.

I stood up and lifted her with me, she started laughing and I brought my lips to hers. She was still smiling as I kissed her and we were soon both laughing, I set her down and she seemed happier so I gave her a hug. "So we need to start cleaning huh?" She groaned and nodded.

**time skip next morning**

I was sitting on the couch at 9:00 in the morning as Clary paced the livingroom/kitchen. I walked over to her, she was rubbing her hands together and wearing them around eachother. I took both her hands in one of mine and she looked up, her face was distorted with worry. I pulled her into a hug and she momentarily hesitated before relaxing in my arms. She was wearing a sundress that reaches mid thigh and was a light green. She looked amazing in it as always, I was wearing a light blue polo shirt and jeans. We walked over to the couch and sat down, her head rested on my shoulder.

Her hands were still wrapping around each other, I knew better but I lifted my hand and placed it on her cheek. Gently I brought her to me, I didnt kiss her, just place our foreheads together. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. "Clary you know we are going to be Ok, just act normal.". I brought her lips softly to mine, nothing deep or special just a soft brush of the lips. When I pulled back she smiled at me and laid her head on my chest, I took a small piece of her hair and started wrapping it around my fingers absentmindedly. All to soon ther was a knock at the door, Clary stood up quickly and ran a hand through her hair. After one more smile to her she opened the door. I stood up to meet Hodge, he was wearing a tweed suit and his long grey hair was pulled back. He was this but had a long almost beaky nose and he also had a long scar that reached down his face.

He was a very intimidating man, no wonder clary had been so scared when he called. Clary shook his hand first and when he turned to me I took his hand firmly and said "Jace Herondale, nice to meet you sir". "Hodge Starkweather, call me Hodge" his voice was deep and almost menacing.

We led him to the livingroom where Clary and I sat in the small couch. We made sure that we weren't touching but not making it obvious. Hodge sat in a chair that was pulled up, he held a clipboard and pen.

"So Jace" Hodge said "im going to be asking some questions. One of you answer them unless obviously directed to one or the other. Understand" I nodded.

"So when way Jaces last panic attack" he looked to is both

"5 days ago" I answered quietly, Clary didnt know this.

"and how bad was it?" Clary looked to me too

"blacked out about 5 minutes, split a knuckle in the mean time" Clary sighed as I said this.

"Jace how much progress do you believe you've made?" This one was obviously for me.

"I know I am better, how much I dont know. I dont remember the first couple days of being here" this was the truth. Hodges nrow furrowed when I said this.

"So Clary how much prefers do you think he has made?" He looked to her.

"Jace has made great progress, when he first arrived he wouldn't even go on the elivator, now we are able to walk down the street to a small diner and have a full meal." She answered confidently and Hodge seemed pleased.

5 hours and many more questions along with various exorcizes later we were done. Once the door was shut I fell backwards and flopped down on the couch, "geez I didn't think that would take so long". Clary smiled "yeah he is very... Thorough". She was walking to me so I grabbed her hand and pulled her on to me. "Jace what if he comes back!" She protested quietly. "Well then we will say you fell, and then you fell again into me" I moved in towards her and soon kissed her, she stayed still just for a moment but then broke down and kisses me back.

"sooooo Clary, wanna make food. I haven't eaten since breakfast" she looked at me "oh poor poor Jace, its 2:07 and you're hungry, I'll start cooking in about 2 hours. Go eat some fruit or something". I grinned at her wickedly and her face fell "Jaaaace noooo. Dont" I stood up taking her with me, I carried her bridal style the whole time, taking extra long to chose. Finally I grabbed a mango and went back to the couch. I sat this time and Clarys head was in my lap, looking up at me with bright emerald eyes.

**Time skip to about 10:26**

"Please Clary, come on please" I was begging now. "Jace no, im not sleeping with you. Now that we are as we are its not right" she had been putting up the same argument. "Since when have we been doing the right thing. Clary" I looked dead in her eyes. "I promise I will never so anything that would make you uncomfortable, I will never force you into anything. All I want is to hold you in my arms as I sleep." She smiled up at me. "Fine then"

I kissed her quickly and carried her to my room. She laughed as i dropped her on the bed. I went to the other side and got in. It wasn't awkward or weird, she fit so perfectly on my arms. She moved closer to me and I put an arm around her waist. I whispered down to her "I love you" once and fell asleep with her safely wrapped in my arms.

**Ok so that wasnt a giant make out scene but how great was that.**


	20. Chapter 20

**hey guys you got your self an update right here! Be happy you did. Sorry i haven't but fair is very busy, no worry im here and I promise to write more. Love you all thank you for 85 followers and THANK YOU for almost 100 reviews**

**Clarys POV**

I woke up in an unfamiliar place, my eyes searched around until I realized I was in Jace's room. I looked around it from where I was, his room was spotless bot a thing out of place. But it was so plain, the only sign that showed it was Jaces room was the pictures tacked up to the wall beside me. There were only two, one of a young Max climbing an a younger Jace, this was obviously taken before Jace was in the service. The only other one was a picture of Izzy Jace and I, Jace had his arm around me and had me close, is was on his other side and he had his arm on her shoulder. We were all smiling and I just now see how Jace held me just a little closer, I should have seen it sooner but its here now.

I feel Jaces arm around my waist, its big warm and strong. I can feel his muscles through out his arm, they never ended and the were protectively wrapped around me. I was pressed against his chest, warm and strong, like all of him hit was hard with muscle but he was so welcoming to be in his arms. He didn't hold me tightly or hurt me even in his sleep, i was just with me protecting me from something, anything.

I turn over and face Jace, he was asleep. His face was softer, no lines of worry and concern, just content with a small smile. I looked over at the clock, it was 8:30, I was expecting a call from Hodge about our interview at 10:30. We had plenty of time, either way I was about to get up when I felt Jaces arm tighten around me. I looked up to see Jace, his eyes were slightly droopy but they were happy. He moved me to her and kisses the top of my head.

I smiled up at him and wrapped my arms around his waist. We were still in bed soit was kind of weird, but he moved and was now almost leaning over me. He kisses me softly and we stayed like that for a couple minutes. He never hurt me, just leaned over me. I smiled up at him "Jace we need to get up" he groaned and flopped over on the bed. I sat up and hit his chest, "come on you need to change too".

Jace stood up and turned around, he stretched, his shirt lifted slightly and I could see a couple inches of his back. He put his arms down and turned to me, his face was quite ashamed "uh Clary can you leave so I could change my shirt, Im sorry I just, please". I stood up and walked over to him, I kisses his cheek. "Its ok Jace, I understand, I know what you mean. I kinda saw a small part a while ago" I knew he was talking about his scar. I dont know how big it was but it must be bad, I started walking to the door when I heard Jace. "Uh um Clary actually, I um you can stay with me, I dont want to uh you know scare you if uh anything happens" I turned red at his suggestion but I am happy he trusted me.

I sat on the end of Jace bed, not sure where to look until Jace spoke. "Uh I know this is kind of weird, im sorry but uh, just one second" he has been stuttering a lot. He never does, i know he must be very nervouse then. He took a deep breath and just took off his tshirt.

He was amazing, obviously he had a 6 pack, but not just that, every muscle was prominently outlined with more muscle. He was marvelous, but then you see it.

His scar stretched all the way across his chest, it was jagged and thick. It was definitely healed, it was pink and the skin was tight, at its thickest it was over 3 inches. My mouth formed an O and I walked to him, I took his hand and led him to the bed. He read my mind and laid down, I sat on the side again facing him. I placed my hand on his chest and I could feel him tense up, I moved it to touching his scar, with only 3 fingers I trailed from the top of his scar which was just a couple inChe's below his shoulder all the way to his waist line.

I looked back at Jace his eyes were tightly shut and his mouth open slightly, I leaned forward and presses my lips to his quickly "no Jace you dont have to tell me how" his hands that I realized were balled up were now on my back. He opened his eyes, the were dark, no other way to describe them but dark. "Jace are you ok Jace focus on me" he didn't respond but his hands moved and they balled up again. he shut his eyes again and his breathing became shallow. "Jace listen to me im right here, come back to me. This is you, you control what happens, Jace come back to me" I was getting frantic and layers my hands on his chest and started shaking him.

I did the same thing for another 10 minutes until his eyes opened again. "Oh thank god Jace you are awake, I haven't seen anything like this with you, what happened, what do you last remember?". He looked to me "I uh well this has happened a couple times, like when I look at it to much and start to remember. The last thing I remember is you telling me that I dont have to say anything" he looked so ashamed. "Jace, how many times is a couple?" He looked down "I uh well uh,seven or eight" I sighed. There was nothing I could do now, this was Jace.

I just laid my head on his chest, warm and welcoming in his arms. My hand mindlessly traced the muscles in his chest while he played with my hair, twisting it on his finger. We stayed like that, just taking in each other until I heard the phone ring.

I jumped up when I heard the phone ring, Jace looked confused so I mouthed "Hodge" to him. He nodded as I picked up my phone.

"Hello, yes this is Clary" I waited for hodge to speak

_"Yes Clary this is Hodge. After your interview with Jace I have reviewed all the answea and signs. Jace is doing good, this is your biggest success. Clary I am giving you one more month with Jace and then you will be given a one month break before your next assignment. Yes we are increasing you number of patients after you quick work with Jace. Thank you."_

**im so sorry guys i bet you hate me. Idk when the next update will be **


	21. Chapter 21

**ok guys so this is going to be written over multiple different days cause im busy, so if anything is wrong I apologize greatly. I dont want to abandon you guys**

**Clarys POV**

As soon as I hung up the phone I rushed into Jaces room, tears threatening to spill out. I opened Jace's door, he was laying on the bed his arms under his head. He had put his shirt back on and had a blanket thrown over his legs haphazardly. When I shut his door he looked up at me, I could tell he saw my face because his eyes darkened and he tensed up.

I fell on to his bed next to him, I didnt want Jace to see me crying but it was to late. He sat up and lifted me to his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt him place a kiss to the top of my head. He tightened his arms around me and I laid my head on his chest.

"Clary hey what happened, please what did he say?" I didn't want to say but he deserved it. "I.. He... Hodge is giving me one more month with you. And, well after I get a short break they, they are giving me another job. Jace I will never be with you, im a live in therapist I cant leave my patient." I was full on crying at this point.

"Oh Clary" Jaces voice was so sad, so disappointed and just so betraying of his emotions. We held on to each other tightly until Jace started to move. "Come on Clary we cant stay here all day."

we went out to the living room, Jace went to the kitchen for some reason and I turned on the TV. When Jace came navy he had two apples, he sat next to me and I leaned into him as I took a bite. We sat in comfortable silence until Jace took my hand.

"I love you, I will wait years until you are done with a patient. I dont care how long I will wait for you, no exceptions, I want you to be mine and I want to be yours eternally."

There was no was to respond to that so I kissed him softly. He tasted of apple, sour and sweet. He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into him more, soo I was laying ontop of him and we were just looking at each other.

"Clary I want to tell you how I got it." I knew he was talking about his scar so I nodded abd held his hand. We sat up but I still held his hand, he pushed his hair back with his other hand and took a deep breath.

"originally I was just shot in the chest" he pointed to a spot through his shirt that was right under his left lung. "When I was shot I saw my brother Alec, he was trying to save me but he was shot in the head". His voice hitched slightly and I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb.

"I blacked out after that and when I woke up I was being bragged by masked men. I knew the guys were going to kill me, somewhere in my heart though I hoped this was the kind of tribe that saves soilders. It wasn't, they dragged me to a small village where they chained me to a wall"

He quieted up a bit and I moved closer to him, I pressed a kiss to his upper arm and he smiled for just a second before continuing.

"they thought I was a captain, they wanted information. They tortured me and beat me, they whipped my back with steel tipped whips and they cut me with jagged knives. Thats where it came from, it wasn't a knife though, it was a machete that had been shaped and formed to be that way."

I didnt know if that was the whole story but he was done speaking, he pulled off his shirt and I looked closly at him. Just below his neck was a thin scar that was a couple inches, he shuttered softly when I ran my finger over it. He had his eyes shut and hands balled up again, I loosened his hands and I held on hand in mins. With my other hand I placed it on his cheek and had him face me. He opened his eyes and I rested my forehead on his.

We were so close I could feel our breathe mingling, he let go of my hand and put both his hands in my hair, I wrapped both my hands around his neck. "You are beautiful Jace, I love you and I will love you even of I am fired." He smiled and we kissed. This one was deep, he was mine and I was his and we knew it.

This time I leaned back and Jace laid over me, his elbows supported him but we were still kissing. I moved my hands down his back, sure enough you could feel the small outlines of scars. We stopped for a moment and just took in each other. His eyes were bright but of you looked deeper they were the slightest bit dark. His hair fell over both our faces like a curtain and his bare chest pressed against me. Warm and comforting but corded with muscle.

Looking into his eyes then I knew he meant every word he had said to me, I meant every word I said to him also. We will be there for one another, no matter what obstacles.

**ok guys im so sorry i haven't updated. Today it the last day of the fair here though so I can write and update more. I hope you like this, i was writing it at midnight just so I can post it today, hey guys also can you ole erases help me reach my goal of 100 followers, love you all.**


	22. Chapter 22

**im so so sorry guys, yes the fair is over but school starts next week and im stressed I also have work so, yeah im busy but i have all of this story laid out in how I am going to write it, so guys i have everything planned out so no need worry. You guys might like this chapter.**

**_One week before they are "separated"_ **

**Clarys POV**

I wake up in my room, im pretty sure I fell asleep on the couch when we were watching a movie. I look at my phone by my bed side, it was 9:26, I slept late. Quickly I changed into my average faded jeans and tank top, I emerged from my room to see Jace.

He was in the kitchen, shirtless. This was an odd sight but I wasn't complaining, I have a small whistle and her jumped " oh Clary sorry I uh I didn't think you'd be up, I'll go change. " he was so flustered that the food behind him started burning.

"shit Clary can you come help" I chuckled and turned off the stove, what I thing was coconut pancakes were too thin and were now burnt to the pan. "Jace the stove is on way to high and you added to much water to the batter, dont worry I'll be teaching you so cool on your own later today". He smiled sheepishly "sorry, I guess I'll go change". I smiles and wrapped my arms around him, "well im not complaining just yet".

He smiled and placed a kiss on my lips, quick and gentle "well then I guess I will stay". I smiled up at him as he wrapped his arms around my waist. Slowly I brought my hands at around his neck, I felt every muscle quiver as I ran my hands up his chest.

He leaned his head down so his hair created a curtain for us, when he brought his lips on mine it wasn't gentle. It was rough and hard but I returned the kiss with just as much vigor.

He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, when he stared walking he placed his hand on my lower back and my arms tightened around his neck. He walked to the couch and half as half laid down so I was on him.

I moved my arms so my forearms were on his chest and they were holding me up. Jace was smiling up at me, i was a lazy smile with a hint of his classic smirk, he had his hands on my hips, they weren't crushing me but they were firm. We were both breathing heavily but Jace kisses me again, not as rough and it was slower but it was still intense.

Jace barely brushed his hands on my skin as he brought his hands up my body and lifted my tanktop on the way. Every touch he laid on me sent shock through me, i moved my hands to his hair, it was long and soft. His hands stopped and rested on my ribs, my hand were tangled in his hair and our bodies pressing together.

We stopped kissing and I laid my head on his shoulder, he turned his head to me. He then shifted so that we were one out sides. He pulled me closer and places his chin on my head. "Jace im sorry to wake your sleep but remember im tracing you to cook" he sighed "hush Clary we can later".

I push slightly on Jaces chest "come on we need to go do something" he sighed "fine then, let's discuss what we are going to do next week". My heart broke slightly realizing only one week until I could possibly never see Jace again.

"Well I know for sure that the first week off I will go visit my mom and stepdad in New York. Usually I live here until mu next assignment because boarding is free but, well I just couldn't right now". I didnt know what I was going to do but hopefully Jace would be moving in with his parents who luckily lived in New York too.

"Clary you can come and live with me at my parent" thank god he was going there. "No Jace I couldn't, really I'll be fine with my parents and I will visit you". His face fell "Please clary, you wont be a bother, Max and Izzy love you plus my mom and dad aren't around a lot so as long as you dont break anything you will be fine. Clary I just want to be with you".

His voice was lowered and he had pulled me closer to him. "Jace none of them know, they only know you are going home in a week". I know i. Sounded like I didnt want to be with him, I wanted to be with him always but I am so scared to loose him. " Clary do you honestly think I care if the know, Clary you are what I love most in this world, if I loose you I will never be able to live a normal life".

I knew what he was saying was true and that I would never be happy with out him. "Alright Jace, I'll spend one week with my parents, you can come too. After that I will stay with you, and after that i will still love you and we will find a way to be together".

He smiles at this and kisses my forehead gently "I love you so much" his voice was low and soothing, a sound that I could never tire of. Kisses him again and he moved so I was laying on him. My hair fell around us and Jace slowly moved it out of my hair. This time when we kisses it was slow and full of love. I heard a small click and looked over, Jace had taken a picture and was now pressing a couple buttons.

When I looked back to him he was smirking "Well now Izzy knows", we kisses again but were interrupts by the sound of my phone ringing.

**Guys i am so so so so so sorry, i have been so busy with school coming up and babysitting and work, its all catching up, I love you guys and help me reach my 100th follower.**


	23. Chapter 23

**HEYYyyyyy my lovely followers you guys have made it to 100 followers. Guys my goal is to get at least 20 reviews for this chapter. Just say something nice short and sweet is fine but i want feedback. Support me and i will love you forever (i already do)**

**Clarys POV**

When my phone rang I looked to Jace, he was smirking and had one hand under his head and the other on the back of my neck. He eyed him one more time before sitting up and grabbing my phone, I looked at the caller ID but I already knew it was Izzy. I glared at Jace one more time before answering the phone.

I brought it to my ear and hesitantly said "hello?" I was waiting for something i didnt know but then Iz answered.

"Oh my god Clary! You two are soooo cute I knew you guys have had something, when did it happen how was it?!" She bombarded me with questions.

I giggled softly "uh you saw the picture, yeah its been about a month" she screeched in my ear.

"Hey Iz I need to go" she laughed

"oh yeah i bet I interrupted you, sorry". I shook my head and hung up the phone.

I sat back into the couch and looked over at Jace, he sat up to and moved towards me. He was sitting side ways on the couch and pulled me into his lap, when laid my head on his bare shoulder and looked at him. He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead, then my cheek, then he just stayed there and we looked at each other. I kissed him one last time sweetly on the lips. "Jace we need to start cooking.

He groaned. "Ugh fine what are we cooking".

**time skip**

It took a couple hours but we got done with the 4 dishes Jace knows how to make. The first one is simple eggs with bacon and cut fruit, if was obviously a breakfast dish. The next one we made was egg salad, it was a simple dish and could be made as a sandwich or salad, this was a lunch that could be made quick. One dinner item we made was pasta with shrimp and tomatoes, it didn't require much prep and was a good meal for multiple people. Finally we made Hamburgers, this was obviously easy and you have many things to do with this one item.

After we done cooking Jace decided we would split all the food we had made, Jace lowered the lights and set out the first plate of eggs. I giggle slightly as Jace took a bow and say across from me. He smiled micheviously and took my hand, he brought it to his lips and kisses the back of my hand while looking at me with bright eyes. The whole time I could feel the blood spread across my face and was giggling like a child with a secret.

Soon the plate of eggs was finished with Jace eating most of it. I was about to stand up in order to grab out plate of two halves of an egg salad sandwhich when Jace motioned for me to stay seated. I tried not to laugh as Jace did a little spinning move and carefully placed the plate on the table, I couldn't help but giggle. "Why Clarissa it pains me that you laugh at out date" Jace brought his hand to his heart in mock hurt. "Im sorry Jace, but you are being romantic at least". He smiled at this and took a seat across from me.

Soon we were done and I was stuffed, we ended out "date" with a kiss and Jace dragged me to our couch where we cuddled and browsed through the television. I leaned my head on Jaces shoulder and took his hand "jace you know I'll call you every night" I could feel him stiffen at this statement. "Clary to hear your voice and to hear you happy a is enough for me, forever". Some how he always was able to come up with the best things to say.

We stayed lime that for some time until I looked at my phone, "Jace hey its 11:30 we should go to bed". He looked down at me with droopy eyes, "Clary will you sleep with me" he kisses mu forehead "Just sleep Clary I promise". He was so gentellus holding me and moving the hair from my eyes, "I dont know Jace" he looked disappointed. "Please Clary, only sleep I promise, I just dont want to let go of you just yet.". I couldn't tell if he was talking about now or in a week but I agreed with him and nodded ny head "alright Jace we can, but you habe to carry me". He smiled his crooked smirk "wrong choice Clary".

I regretted it as soon as he said it because then he lifted me up into his arms, holding me bridal style he kissed my lips. "Well then shall we go to bed", his smirk was charming michevious and loving at the same time, I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "we shall"

When we got into Jaces room he was stilk shirtless so he just took off his shorts and got in the bed, I grabbed one of his shirts and quickly changed into it. When I walked out Jace had his hands over his eyes and his hair was scatterd on the pillow. I coughed quietly once and he looked at me, when he did his face completely changed. His eyes focused on me, his smiled growed, he even ran a hand through his hair. I shyly smiled at him and walked over to the bed, I got in as Jace lifted the covers. We moved closer to each other until all of us were touching, his thick arms around me, my back to his corded chest, his chin on my head, even our legs were tangled together. I fell asleep to Jaces steady heartbeat that I hope to for ever know.

**omg guys i am so so so so sorry i haven't updated, school has started and this is my first year of highschool so it is pretty stressfull and im still working and its been a sucky week but i have toms of excuses but i am so sorry for not updating. I have been writing this chapter for days now I just need to be focused and if you know anything about me IRL you know im not**


	24. Chapter 24

**9 days, 9 days and i haven't even been one let alone update. You have no idea how sorry i am. Highschool is way more tiring than i thought. To all of you i wont give up on this story, im very very sorry.**


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